On  Fear & Intimacy

[Excerpt From:  Chapter on Intimacy pgs. 112 -121]

Intimacy is the measure of the energy that leaves your energy system in love and trust. Lack of intimacy is the energy that leaves your energy system in fear and doubt.


Intimacy is gratifying and joyful. You feel open to your life and others. you look forward to being with others. you care about them. you feel
connected with them, even if they do not feel connected to you. you are
interested in them. you appreciate them, and you appreciate that they
are in your life.

The second experience, lack of intimacy, is painful. people appear to you
as objects. you are not interested in what they are thinking or
feeling, except when it affects you.

Intimacy requires vulnerability.

It requires that you feel every experience of insecurity. if you cannot feel your own insecurities, you will not be able to see them in others, much less appreciate them in others.

Intimacy creates sensitivity.

When you are intimate you become sensitive to yourself and also to other
people. when you are not intimate, you are sensitive only to yourself,
and even then you are not aware of everything you are feeling.

Intimacy is natural for us.

We are designed to be intimate, caring, sensitive and loving towards one
another. when you are intimate you are fulfilled. every encounter is
satisfying, or pregnant with potential for deeper insight and spiritual
growth. when you are not caring, sensitive, or loving, when intimacy is
lacking, nothing fulfills. every interaction is cold, and sometimes
cruel. vulnerability is dangerous. this is a very painful experience.
you feel isolated and alone. you cannot reach others and they cannot
reach you.

When you naturally create harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life, you cannot suffer from lack of intimacy.

When [everything] is more important to you than people, [your life becomes]
like a cold dark room, like a large refrigerator. everywhere you go is
cold. no one appears supportive of you, because your intention towards
him or her is not warm or supportive.

you cannot imagine in others what you cannot experience in yourself.

you walk in loneliness. you dismiss compliments as flattery and disdain
appreciation as ignorance. There is a wall between you and others as
real as a wall made of concrete and steel.

That wall also separates you from much of what you are feeling. your awareness is limited to your anger, frustration, and disappointment. you are aware of the ways others do not meet your expectations, of your judgments of others and yourself. Deeper, more painful emotions remain invisible to you.

When you do not recognize your deeper, painful emotions for what they are, they shape your perceptions, judgments and actions.

Chief among these emotions is fear. it is easier to become angry than to
experience that you are frightened. fear and hopelessness come together. Anger is an attempt to change others so you feel more secure. the more frightened you are, the more righteous you become and the more
others appear to be at fault.

All painful emotions are expressions of fear.

While you remain locked in fear, you cannot see the opportunities your life presents to you.

When you are caught in a current of rage or remorse, or seek revenge, you cannot see that. you see only the cause of your anger and injustice that torments you. all that you see around you, everyone you encounter, and all of your experience inwardly are reflections of a fear that permeates your awareness. until you can turn to face your own fears,
you will be a prisoner of them. you will not find your way out of the
cold, dark room. you will not even know there is an outside. your life
will be filled with anger, vengefulness, regret, envy and more. This is
the experience of no intimacy, a painful descent into powerlessness.

Intimacy is letting your guard down.

You relax into the present moment without reservation. You become a friend to the world, and the world becomes a friend to you. You welcome every circumstance instead of resisting it.

You are no longer content to behave in a way that merely covers over, or avoids, a painful emotion that has controlled you in the past. You become a fearless explorer of your own inner terrain.

You reshape your world by reshaping yourself. You see the world and all that is in it as being at the service of your soul. Your experiences and the circumstances of your life are the continually updated curricula of the Earth school. All that you encounter is your teacher and you are the student. Your teacher is very patient. If you do not learn what your circumstances seek to teach you, more circumstances arrive to help you learn the same lesson. This continues as long as necessary. When you become interested in the curricula of the Earth school, your life becomes very interesting.

You do not judge yourself and others. You have no enemies, no successes or failures.

This is intimacy.

You cannot fail the course. No one can.

- end -

Hope you've enjoyed this installment of The Heart of the Soul!

~mu~